did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize