RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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