I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Holy sore nipples Batman
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
