Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize