so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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