you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
