I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
