I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
