What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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