I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
