you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
