Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
