My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
