One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
