Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Sober January is a disaster.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
