you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
