Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
