I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
