Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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