the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
