we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I want to fling myself into the sun
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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