Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
