You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
