what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
