wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Come see our sink grown plant.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
