He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize