I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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