there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
