Whod you bang
well you can't waste a boner
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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