Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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