I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize