He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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