Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
