Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I didn't notice because vodka
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dicks are not precious.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
