How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
