well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
