Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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