This is not my ceiling
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
