I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
