Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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