i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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