'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize