Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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