she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
