sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
