Buhtt sex?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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