I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
