Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
