another moral hangover. fuck.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We don't watch enough power rangers
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
