operation harelip BJ is a go
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
