Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
