im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize