and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
