Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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