brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
