What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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