mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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