everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
