Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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