she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize