He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sober January is a disaster.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
