Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
