New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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