Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
