god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize