Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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