Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My penis needs a shock collar
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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