You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
