You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
